Understanding the sources of anger is essential to understanding and controlling the experience and the expression of anger. Without understanding the source, we will be frustrated in managing our anger. All anger is not assumed to be wrong from a Biblical perspective. Paul urges: “In your anger (wrath) do not sin: do not let the sun go down while you are still angry (provoked)…get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger (wrath).” (Eph. 4:26, 31) Provocation is irritation and is different than rage or wrath. Irritation if dwelt on may lead to harsh forms of anger and requires monitoring. The vocabulary of the Bible is expansive in differentiating the levels of anger.
It is helpful to look at sources of anger. There are at least four sources. A breach of values is frequently a primary source. When your values are breached anger is provoked. Understanding if this is a source will greatly influence your experience and expression. In the Scripture we readily see that when God’s values as revealed, for instance, in the ten commandments is breached, he experiences anger. Think of his response to the overwhelming presence of wickedness when he decided to wipe our humanity with the Flood in Noah’s time. It is important to notice that, first, that ”The Lord was grieved… and his heart was filled with pain.” (Genesis 6:5-8) However, the breach of his values leads to the destruction of mankind. We, too, respond to the breach of our values with anger. Recognizing this to be the case, we choose our response accordingly. We do well to assess our values in determining our response.
Secondly, when we experience a breach of our expectations, we respond with anger. If this is the case, we may wish to examine our expectations to determine if they are appropriate. We might wish to determine if the person breaching our expectations shared ours, or whether they were cognizant of our expectations. Sometimes breaches are in ignorance. Some years ago, two grandchildren (preschool) were visiting our home. My wife informed them that they were not to go near the pond without an adult. A few minutes later, they were at the pond, and scolded for being there. The elder of the two came to me (I was not part of the previous communication.) with a question: “Grampa, can I ask you a question?” I replied, “Yes.” His question was, “What is an adult?” He knew what “big person” meant, but not what “adult” meant. The expectation was unclear, and, therefore, the breach was innocent.
Thirdly, when our sense of worth is breached, we become angry, usually quickly. We may feel unjustly criticized, evaluated, put down, or depreciated in some way. If this is the source of our anger, we may need to do some self-evaluation as to our sensitivity, or to further understand the other’s intention. God’s sense of worth or dignity was challenged by the assumption of Israel that a golden calf was an appropriate representation of the God who brought them out of the slavery of Egypt. God said, “Leave me alone so that my anger may burn against them and that I may destroy them.” (Exodus 32:7-10) Moses intervened. We all experience anger when our person is attacked or devalued. This is a powerful source of anger.
The fourth source of anger I would suggest is when a goal we have is blocked. The frustration of such an experience may blossom into anger. Acknowledging the source of our anger gives us the opportunity to evaluate and determine what the most appropriate response to anger may be. This evaluation will normally lead to a much more appropriate response. Anger experienced and expressed as a kneejerk response is seldom appropriate and may lead to great misunderstanding and deeper hurt. Understanding the source will permit evaluation and may lead to interaction that results in insight that will enable us to respond with more wisdom that reactivity.
In summary, understanding the “Anger Equation” may enable us to become more sensitive to our emotions, aware of our physiological responses, and our learned behavior. Exploring the sources of our anger may lead to much clarification, and the opportunity to determine more accurate ways to cope with our anger. Understanding is much better than reactivity.
