There probably isn’t a day that goes by when a Pastor is not asked a question that requires answering. Often, such requests are demanding, unsettling, or, perhaps embarrassing.
I want to suggest that there is an art to answering! In fact, often answering is not a good response! That’s right. There are better ways to respond. Unless it is a matter of life or death, or the request for a simple, straightforward answer like, “What is the sum of 2+2?” Most pastors are good with facts, or Bible knowledge. But, even there, there may be a better response.
Consider that many questions have questionable motives. Perhaps the questioner is just trying to avoid responsibility, passing the buck, or wanting a shortcut to thinking through the issue themselves, or being too lazy to do the research. The motives for questions are worth pursuing.
Yes, we like to give answers, we have the knowledge, the authority, the role. Or maybe we just want to display our knowledge, acumen, educational advantage, or the power that comes with our position. Now, that may be uncomfortable to look at our need to give answers, but it may be worth a look.
On the one hand, we can respond by probing, evaluating, judging, or condemning any poor reasons the questioner may have for the question. On the other hand, we would be more effective to seek understanding of the background to the question – it source, urgency, what prompted the query, is it personal or does it involves others, has it been a concern for some time or of immediate concern. There are many possibilities. The result of seeking understanding the question may lead to a very different and more useful answer.
Seeking clarification of the question or exploring its meaning to the person could be of great importance to providing an answer that leads to growth for the person, or a more pertinent answer. For example: “Help me understand the question. Can you help me see what you mean?”
“That is a good question. What does it mean to you.”
“Maybe we should set aside some time to discuss that question in depth. It is important.”
“Let me see if I really understand what you are asking.”
The art of answering may be not to answer but rather to explore in a manner that determines what lies behind the question. Maybe the question is only a place to start and a simple answer may lead to the wrong path forward. Asking and seeking further information may communicate more compassion and open doors that lead to many important outcomes.
Sometimes an answer will lead to the loss of a great opportunity.
